Thursday, February 19, 2015

Here's The Deal

This is a post that I didn't give much thought to prior to writing it. I just started typing and here's what I came up with. It's obviously geared towards the ladies, but I think it would do the men some good to read it as well. I'm very blunt and a little emotional, but this is what has been on my mind. 

So here's the deal. We're broken. We're scared, we're hurt and we're bitter. We hold grudges more than we'd like to admit and we always doubt compliments. We don't trust easy, if at all. We wonder if there are ulterior motives behind every kind action we receive. We're givers, yet we rarely get anything back. And we hate it. We hate it with a passion. We try not to let it bother us; we bottle it up inside and ignore it and every time we give of ourselves, we add another drop to the jar until one night when we are alone in our room, we just can't balance it anymore and it overflows. Words mean things. Actions speak a thousand words is not just something our mothers used to say to us when we were little, we now realize it's true. And it sucks. Because actions are not always nice. In fact, more often than not, sometimes it seems as if actions are nothing but things that are designed to hurt, embarrass and sting us. We're extremely self conscious and we second guess everything. We overanalyze, overreact, overthink, get over emotional and way too dramatic. It's just the way it is. 

We are women. 

We put up with unbelievable amounts of stress, pain, confusion and drama. We are designed to take on the burdens of our fellow women and our men. We are created to bring babies into this world, to rear them in the ways of truth, love and justice. We are supposed to be the backbone of our families, provide meals for our husbands and keep our homes clean. We are expected to get an education and make make money and then be examples for our children when it's time to raise them and we want to stay in love with our men our whole lives. no matter what troubles arise.

It's not easy. It's actually really hard. Sometimes it's borderline unbearable and it can be pretty  miserable. If we cry we're weak, but if we don't show emotion, we're cold. If we talk too much we're annoying, but if we don't say a word, we're bitchy. It never ends. We can't win. How are we supposed to overcome our own insecurities, our own fears and vices if we are constantly being pushed back down again. Is this what being a woman is about? Is this all there is? Is this reality? 

In order to be great women, we need to believe that we are great. We need to silence the thoughts in our heads that tell us we aren't smart enough, aren't skinny enough, aren't active enough, aren't pretty enough, aren't healthy enough, aren't sexy enough, aren't kind enough. Because all of those things don't define us. I'm not saying they're not all wrong because maybe we aren't healthy enough or smart enough...if that's the case, we need to get out there and improve it because no one else is going to do it for us. We need to believe in ourselves, we need to bite the bullet and make ourselves worth it. Not for men, not for anyone, but for ourselves. Because we are worth it. 

God created woman from man's rib. From the beginning, it has been in His omnipotent plan that man and woman co-exist together and come together as one in order to keep the cycle going. Every great man needs a great woman and vice versa. In order to find a great man, however, in order to find our person, we first need to turn ourselves into that person. Do we want someone who is easily brought down and discouraged by those who treat them like anything less than they deserve? No. Would we look at that person in that situation and watch them do nothing but be upset and go along with it? Probably not. We'd be mad. We'd want to cheer them on, stand up for them, encourage them to "fight" back, to stand up for themselves. If we would do this for our potential boyfriend and eventual husband, why can't we do this for ourselves? What is holding us back? 

It's time to go for it. Time to put on some red lipstick, hold our heads high and walk with confidence, even if it's fake at first. It's time to smile at those who have hurt us, and embrace those who support us. It's time to give more hugs, even if it feels too touchy-feely and time to accept compliments and actually believe them. It's time to forgive and forget but learn from our mistakes. It's time to remove poisonous relationships from our lives and spend a few extra minutes in prayer each day. It's time to drink more water and read more books and tell more people we love them. It's time to write more letters and try not to swear so much and simply breathe. 

It's been a long journey, and there has been a lot of pain, a lot of regret, a lot of what if's and could haves and maybes. But it's time to move on, it's time to stop letting people define us. It's time to stop taking hurtful words and actions to heart and it's time to latch on to the people who we feel whole around; the ones who compliment us when we need it, comfort us, listen to us, trust us with their hearts and willingly take on ours. Those are the ones who we need to surround ourselves with. 

Because here's the deal. We're women. And we can do it. 

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