Friday, February 13, 2015

Fifty Shades of Bai

Once again, the beautiful Bailey Barnes has decided to grace the blog with her witty and brilliant thoughts on this week's phenomenon, Fifty Shades of Grey. The movie comes out tonight and I'm not here to tell you not to go see it, I'm not your mother. What I will say is that you should take a few minutes to read Bailey's thoughts and then decide if you're fifty shades of better. 

Fifty Shades of Bai: 15 Reasons Why Hanging Out With Me is Infinitely Better Than Watching the Movie
Guest post by Bailey Barnes

Have you been following the latest social media trends lately? Well, if you haven't been living underneath a rock in the past few weeks, you'd know that Fifty Shades of Grey has been a topic of debate. Now, I could link you to dozens of articles that would give you my opinion on the "novel" but I think people have heard all the arguments against the movie. I thought I'd give you a different sort of list.
1. I can probably write a better book than the author of Fifty Shades. I've seen passages from the "novel." It's poorly written. As an English major, it hurts me to see a poorly written book become so popular.

2. I'm hilarious. Have you seen my tweets lately? I got 16 favorites favorites yesterday. I'm pretty close to getting verified. #nbd. 

3. I'm way more fun than Christian Grey. Sex Dungeons? No. We can watch Rom Coms and eat oreos. 

4. I haven't read the book, but summed up, Ana is a boring English major or something. I'm an English major who is super interesting and also, I have an email address, unlike our good friend Ana. 

5. I go to Mass five times a week, which means I get to spend lots of quality time with Jesus who is like, the most interesting guy, well, um, like...ever. 

6. I'll probably never be a millionaire but I also won't make you sign a sex contract. 

7. Although I look unapproachable, I am completely willing to be anyone's friend, so hang out with me instead of with someone at the movie theatre. 

8. This has nothing to do with me - but if you force your boyfriend/husband to see Fifty Shades, he'll probably hate you forever. Is that worth the risk?

9. Seriously, I'll make a movie that's better than Fifty Shades that doesn't condone abusive relationships. I'll do it. 

10. If you're looking for a good book to read, I have plenty. I'll recommend something much better. You're welcome. 

11. Speaking of great books, I just ordered If You Really Loved Me and Delivered. They're kinda anti-Fifty Shades.

12. Want an example of authentic love? I'll take you on a date to Old Fashioned. Your future (or current) spouse will thank me later. 

13. I have a serious girl crush on the Virgin Mary who, you guessed it, is a virgin. And she's awesome. Don't read Fifty Shades, read how awesome the Mother of God is. 

14. Christian Grey is addicted to BDSM. I'm addicted to coffee.  Coffee doesn't put my immortal soul in danger. 

15. I have amazing friends who encourage me not to see Fifty Shades. They could be your friends too.

Remember, because you are a child of God, you are fifty shades of interesting. 

With love, 
Bailey Barnes

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