Here's What He Should Know

I was scrolling through Facebook this morning while having my morning coffee & I clicked on a Thought Catalog article. The title intrigued me enough so I started reading, & then I started furiously typing.

Yes, I've been dreaming of my Prince since I was three years old. Walt Disney and Rogers & Hammerstein movies kinda set me up for a false reality of romance. I've always been friends with boys & growing up in a family full of male cousins & with two brothers of my own, I learned from an early age how to be comfortable around them. (Talking here as if we're dealing with an endangered species or something). I've only had one "boyfriend" and we all know how that ended, so I'm hesitant to even call it a legit relationship. Maybe it was at first, but it's not exactly one that I want recorded in my love-life-file. 

I'm in college now, I'm going to be 20 years old in three months &  I'm going to admit it. 

I've never been in love. 

The revelation hit me the other day while stopped at an intersection after Rachel and I had picked up Starbucks. This is what my wise best friend told me: "that's good." Now that I think about it, I realize she's right. I thought I was in love and that screwed me over. I've liked multiple guys, even kissed multiple guys, but I can now say that I have never loved any of them. Does that make me sound trashy? Sorry. I am after all, a college student & trust me, we do a lot of stupid things. 

Why haven't I loved any of them? Because I'm actually smarter than I give myself credit, and I know that I haven't found him. I haven't found the one that God has created to be my person. I haven't found my future husband. He's out there somewhere, and it's really mind-boggling, but I may have already met him. He may be at this very school right now, who knows! Regardless, I haven't found him yet. And that's okay. 

Being single pretty much all of my teenage (& so far my adult) life, I've had a lot of time to discern what exactly it is that I am looking for. And all those boys along the way have either helped me realize what I don't want, or given me a sample of what I do want. So s/o to them. Basically what I'm getting to, is after reading that article & thinking about this a bit, I came up with a few things.  

I’d rather find someone who’s highly ambitious about his career. I’d rather find someone who’d like to wait a few years before starting a family but who would be open to one whenever God blessed us. I’d rather be in a relationship where we both work, but I’d like to eventually work from home. I’d rather be with someone who loves to travel but is also content with being a homebody. I’d rather be with someone who is confrontational & approaches a problem as it occurs. 

I’d rather be with someone who enjoys parties & social events but knows when to stay in & enjoys watching Netflix. I’d rather be with an early bird so we can have our morning coffee together & watch the news or get ready together. I want to be with someone who watches dramas & comedies instead of thrillers. I want someone who is affectionate & open about his feelings but not dramatic. It’s important that I find someone who can make me laugh but who I can also have an intellectual conversation with. I want someone who has many of the same interests & tastes that I do & I want us to be able to discover new things together. 

I need someone who is Roman Catholic or who will become Catholic before marrying me. I’d be content with settling down & establishing a life in one place rather than moving all the time if we still had the opportunity to travel. I’m interested in someone who decides on dates spur of the moment, but plans out when it comes to the important times (anniversaries, holidays, birthdays). I need someone who is able to be independent, as I am independent, but who enjoys spending a lot of time together as this is obviously what makes a relationship work. 

It’s important that I find someone who’s a wine-and-beer drinker but who enjoys a good Jack & coke or martini every now & then. I’d rather be with someone who isn’t extremely involved in sports but I won’t complain if he is. I want someone who is more of a city person but who is open to spending time in the outdoors. If we go on vacation, I’d rather be someone who lays on the beach with me, drinking margaritas & reading books rather than someone who wants to go skydiving & parasailing. I’m more interested in the person who sits calmly & who strikes up a conversation with me rather than being the life of the party. 

I want to be with someone who is more of an upbeat go-getter. I’m looking for a strong & romantic relationship in which we can still be quirky and boring together. If we’re watching a movie, I want someone who will make homemade popcorn and watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s or Bridesmaids with me on the couch. He can be a dog person but not a cat person. He doesn’t have to be a neat freak, but he shouldn’t be lax in his messes. I’m interested in someone who will cook meals with me the majority of nights per week. I want a movie-watcher who appreciates a good book & hasn’t passed reading off as “old-fashioned”. I need someone who’s opinions are in the same ballpark when it comes to politics, religion & style (that means Republican, Catholic and pretty please... preppy).

I’d rather be with someone who is open to having a big family but who will be happy with as many children as God blesses us with (I’m thinking three, maybe four?) 

And last but not least, I need a cuddler. 

Maybe I'm picky/needy, or maybe I just know exactly who I want. Oh, & honey, if you're reading this, I hope you know that I'm praying for you and I can't wait to find you.