Sunday, November 16, 2014

Five Ways to Move On

One of the biggest differences between college and high school is that in college you can really choose your friends. You can choose who you want to spend your time with, who you want to trust with your deepest secrets and who you let see the best and worst of yourself. I graduated with a class of twelve, and therefore I didn't necessarily have as much freedom in choosing my friends; we had mostly the same values and beliefs, and because there were only twelve, it was much easier to get along with everyone than not. Here in college though, there are hundreds to choose from, and if you don't choose carefully, it's easy to get really screwed really fast. I have had the great pleasure of finding and befriending the beautiful Bailey Barnes. She is 4'11 (yes, that's actually shorter than me) and has one of the biggest hearts I know. We bonded one night taking care of a mutual friend, and hit it off right away. We share a love for writing and when I asked her if she would like to start a guest post series on the blog, it was an immediate yes. Her words are clear and to the point, which is one of the many reasons why I happen to love her. 

Five Ways to Move On
Guest post by Bailey Barnes

Two months ago, my heart was broken.
The details aren't important. It was messy and I don't like talking about it. 
I'm not writing this for sympathy. I want people to learn from what I've discovered over the past two months. 

Moving on is tough. Coming to the realization that things won't be the same with the person that you loved more than anything is scary. Trust me, I know. 

Here's a list of what I've learned about moving on over the past two months:

1. It's not the end of the world
It's really not. The world will continue to turn and life doesn't stop happening. I know how sad you are. I've been there, but it gets better. 

2. Surround yourself with TRUE friends
Please PLEASE don't be by yourself. I know that you want to sit on your floor and listen to Taylor Swift songs and cry, but that will not help anything. Talk about how you're feeling with someone who is a true friend. They'll be able to sympathize with you and help you move on. 

3. Take the pictures down
Chances are, you two probably are done for good. Stop staring of the pictures of you guys on your desk. Just stop. It's not helping. Also, give his sweatshirts back. And you should probably delete them on snapchat too while you're at it. Seeing what they're up to is a constant reminder that they are able to be happy without you. That'll only make it harder to move on. 

4. Don't rebound
I get it. It's weird being alone, especially if you're fresh out of a long term relationship. I know how badly you want to feel love, to feel affection. Believe me when I tell you that it's not worth it. "Rebounding" is only going to put you in a worse emotional state than you were before. Surround yourself with people who won't take advantage of your walls being down. 

5. There's someone out there for you
I promise. It'll get easier. Eventually, you'll wake up in the morning with someone else on your mind. Just be patient. 

With love, 
Bailey Barnes 

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